Sunday, July 9, 2017
My life has been a whirlwind since I last posted. I didn't write anything in the whole month of June and it's hard for me to remember everything that has gone on. I have been in and out of depression along with fibromyalgia flare ups. I'm trying very hard not to complain and to keep smiling through it all but sometimes that's just not enough. I have been doing all that I can to take care of myself and find the time to spend with those I love.
I still have not met my new granddaughter but won't give up on praying for it. That's all I can do at this time. Hopefully, my son and his girlfriend will come around. I got to spend some time with one of my granddaughter's and lots more with my new grandson. I am trying to focus on the blessings that are right in front of me instead of what I do not have.
In therapy, I discovered that a rocking chair would be very therapeutic for all of us. When kids rock they are trying to soothe themselves. Because I had a lifetime of trauma I pretty much need to be soothing myself at all times. Rocking is one way that helps me and a lot of the little one's inside. It's about regulating emotional responses to old memories and dealing with day to day stress. Our chair arrives on the 14th of this month and we are looking forward to using it.
Fibromyalgia is a mood killer and frustration beyond explanation. I keep having hopes that the more I deal with my past in therapy the less pain I will feel from this disease. I totally believe that my pain is on a cellular level and I will changes the cells in my body by dealing with past trauma. If I don't deal with it and push it aside, I will remain disabled by it. Read "The lifelong cost of burying our traumatic experiences."
On a happier note, my husband and I paid for some land in full and are looking for a builder to build our home. It will be a custom home and everything we want in a house for the rest of our lives. It's going to be an exciting journey and, at times, very stressful. In the end it will be worth it. I look forward to living in the community we chose as it is a very active and friendly community. More than half the community is prior military and that makes a huge difference to us. People who are military are very friendly and family oriented. I look forward to socialization and new friendships! I cannot tell you how tired I am of suburban neighborhood living. We bought 1.01 acres of land and we have a lots of established old oak trees surrounding our property, as well as, cactus and persimmon trees. We can design any type of home we'd like and the only requirement is the outside of it be stucco, stone or brick. So awesome!
Until next time, be well and be strong!