Sunday, May 7, 2017
Have you ever been lifted by the back of your head from behind and thrown to the ground? I have and in that moment in time I developed an inner child who likes to be called Namaste. This did not only happen to me once in my lifetime, it happened many times. It was always from behind and a surprise. Back in September of 2016 I fell and damaged my rotator cuff and began having horrible neck pain. I was taking lots of narcotics for the pain, had injections done (which punctured my dural sac in my neck) and spoke with a neurosurgeon, who said there was nothing he could do to fix my problem. I felt desperate and helpless but then I had a massage the day after my neurosurgeon appointment. During the massage when she started massaging my neck I felt myself dissociating and there was no pain. Two days later I woke up. I know now that the pain in my neck that I've been having was a psychosomatic response to the injury I felt as a child being thrown to the grown. This alter that has been discovered has intense neck and shoulder pain. Since her appearance the pain I feel in my neck has been getting better, but not to say it's totally disappeared. Sometimes uncovering past memories and understanding what happened to you can cause changes physically in the body. The brain is so amazing!
This alter has given me a new kind of hope I haven't felt before. I feel like a lot of the pain I have been feeling ,that is called Fibromyalgia ,may actually be from trauma transference syndrome! If this is the case, there is a ton of hope for my future health. Just feeling less neck pain has shown me that this really does happen. I used to think some of this research was a bunch of bunk but I don't think that anymore. Trauma and abuse does a whole heck of a lot to a person's mind, body and soul. It doesn't just disappear once the moment of abuse is over. It becomes even worse when a person does not deal with it in a healthy way and keeps it locked inside.
As a Christian I am not into all the new age stuff and the whole meaning of the Hindu version of Namaste I do think I could think of it as "I honor your soul as you honor mine." I'm very careful about this because it's not inline with what the Bible teaches. I will respect this new inner person and allow her to be called this. This is a interesting journey and I feel I am getting so much stronger and at peace every day!