Wednesday, January 18, 2017

It's been 2 years since I have posted...I'M BACK!

Hi there to any of my followers who are still with me. It's been a crazy 2 years for me and I just wasn't up to blogging anymore. I had an incident where someone who knew me was acting very supportive of me to my face but then behind my back was gossiping and talking bad about me about my blog and my disorder. I guess it triggered something in me. I remember my mother and grandmother reading my diary and making fun of me, degrading me and so and it upset me and I had a hard time writing my feelings down after that. When I started doing a blog about my disorder it felt great and I was getting a lot of support from people. Then I caught wind ow what this one person was saying and it was upsetting and hurtful. It angers me that I allowed this one person to have this much control over my feelings. I've have become more vocal lately on Facebook regarding DID and the feedback I have been getting is awesome. And here I am with you again. I am not going to be ashamed or made to feel like I have to hide what I say, I spent too much of my life doing that,

I am going to move forward now. This is what my current issue is right now:

I started to watch the trailer for the movie "split" but my hubby made me stop. He was worried I would get triggered and he's most likely right.
Here is the movie plot: After a wholesome teen birthday party, three girls are kidnapped in broad daylight: friends Claire (Haley Lu Richardson) and Marcia (Jessica Sula), and difficult outsider Casey (Anya Taylor-Joy). Their captor Kevin (James McAvoy) locks the trio in a windowless room, then proceeds to frighten and baffle them. One minute he's wearing eyeglasses and obsessive about cleanliness, the next he's presenting as female, and later he acts like a nine-year-old boy. It is revealed that Kevin exhibits 23 alternate personalities, and in order to escape, his captives must convince one of the personalities within him to set them free, before the arrival of the 24th and final personality, the "beast".
This really upsets me and makes me feel like utter crap. As a person living with DID and 40+ alternate personalities this is downright insensitive. People with DID are not crazy people who go around murdering and kidnapping people. We are people who are hurt souls. We did the most brave thing we could think of to survive. We split from ourselves. I'm sick of Hollywood portraying a negative light on me and my fellow DID friends. Do you understand how much pain we live with on a day to day basis? Do you understand how hard it is to heal? Do you know what makes it even harder? People who believe the stigma presented to them about us and the treatment we receive as a result. DID is not a mental illness. I have DID because of things that were DONE to ME. It is a complex form of PTSD. Not everyone who grows up traumatized gets DID. But some do, like me.
I beg of you who are my family and my friends. Please do not go and see this movie. Don't support the lies and drama of Hollywood. Help me to raise awareness of DID and the pain that those of us who have it suffer with, as well as their loved ones. A person with DID is not someone to be afraid of. Most people I know would never even know I had it unless I told them. It's not so dramatic and unusual as the movies portray it. Most people have lots of little children who are sad inside and want understanding. 

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