Two things were said to me today that pushed me to write another blog post. The first was a comment about how sad someone was for me and the second was a comment that "abusers should serve a life sentence because the victims certainly do."
Addressing the first comment: Please do not feel sad for me. My life happened the way it was supposed to happen. I am who I am because of it and I am damn proud of who I turned out to be. I can sit and dwell on the past or I can move forward and better myself and help others who hurt. I choose the latter. I have good days and bad but even if I could go back in time and change what happened to me, I wouldn't. The thing of it is the people who hurt me thought they were breaking me but in reality they made me a strong, courageous and compassionate woman! I am a fighter and I know what comes around goes around whether it happens in this life or after, it is taken care of..this I am 100% certain of.
The second comment bothers me. Yes, I think abusers should be punished but as far as being a "victim" and having a "life sentence"...NO! I will not refer to myself as a victim any longer because I know in my heart of hearts I am a true survivor! I don't have to live with a life sentence of misery and upset. I choose to live FREE and break that bondage of guilt, shame, sadness and most importantly...being powerless! I have taken my life back and I am no longer a prisoner to any of this. You can choose to be in that prison or be you can choose to break out of it! You DO have a choice. You decide where you want to be. In the past we were powerless to what happened to us. Today, we have power to decide what makes us feel good and what makes us feel bad! I refuse to give any more POWER to my abusers over ME! I took back my life and made it mine!
I hope that all the people who are hurting and read this can understand and do the same in their life. I have worked on myself for 25+ years very seriously.It doesn't happen overnight to get to where I am but I don't want anyone to think that overcoming pain is not attainable for them. Be patient with yourself. Know there are going to be bad days or even weeks but in time it does get easier. Don't lose hope!