Wednesday, June 19, 2013

Cinnamon .....let me in

The tip toeing alter came out in therapy today.  My Therapist could tell something was up when I walked in the room. I had a difficult time driving over to her office. I was really nervous and kept feeling like I was going to hit someone when I would switch lanes. As soon as my T asked me about why I felt that way the alter came out. Celeste told me that she is around 2 years old and is very sad. She cried a lot when she was out and has a memory of greeting the father in the kitchen when he came home. Apparently, when she ran up to him he threw out her arm and she went flying across the room and hit the back of her head against the wall. Our Aunt Paulette was there and comforted her. When he hit the little he told her "Get the Hell out of my way!" She had a hard time running to him to begin with because her legs were in some kind of braces or wrappings. She ran on her tip toes.She admitted to trying to see when I was driving and it caused me to not be very grounded. Luckily, I was strong enough to brace against it. I have had that feeling before while driving but I am always protected by an older alter when it happens. She didn't have a name and our T told her she be called whatever she wanted to be called and she thought about it and came up with Cinnamon. When we were a little kid we remember hearing a song on the record player called "Cinnamon" by, I believe, Derek. I wonder if that is why she chose that name? I know we used to love when Mom would play it. Now that the labyrinth has been opened up insiders are pouring out faster than we can keep track of! Celeste told me that Cinnamon actually came out last night during bedtime and Bob had to calm her down. She was crying that her legs hurt and her head. One thing I can say about our husband is he is incredible with everyone inside. He loves us all and is the best comforter in the world! It has been getting hectic inside and he just rolls with it. I also have the best supportive friends and family one could ask for. I know that I am not the norm because I have met many multiples who have problems with keeping in a relationship. I do not take my relationship for granted one bit because I know Bob is a gift from God. It takes a lot for an alter to trust people and for Cinnamon to open up with him and my T shows how great they both are. A person who has been abused usually has an inner radar and can figure out who is good and bad. They can also spot other survivors without knowing anything about that person. I look forward to getting to know all my new alters and any more who should emerge.

Here are the words to the song Cinnamon:

Sneaking down your alleyway
And knocking on your door
Thought I had enough
But I'm back for more

Cinnamon, let me in
Cinnamon, let me in

Knock, knock, let me in
I won't go away (oh, uh uh)
I'm gonna see you
If it takes all day (oh, uh uh)

Cinnamon, let me in
Cinnamon, let me in
Singing, sha la la la la...

One potato, two potato
Three potato, four
Open up, Cinnamon, I want more

Five potato, six potato
Seven potato, eight
Give it to me, Cinnamon
I can't wait

You can't hide, girl
I'm coming inside, girl
Do what you want to
Baby, I'll let you

Might as well face it
Cinnamon, you know
I'm gonna get you

Sha la la la la...

(Cinnamon, Cinnamon)
(Cinnamon) here I come, girl

Cinnamon, oh, let me in
Cinnamon, let me in
Sing it, sha la la la la...

Let me, Cinnamon
Sha la la la la...
Can't you hear me knocking, baby
Sha la la la la...

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