Monday, May 27, 2013

The calm before the storm

Something's up. I can feel it as my head is pounding, I feel off balance and my dreams are full of Satanic symbols. I was awakened today by my husband as I was crying and screaming in my sleep. The dream was so vivid and disturbing as it involved my son. I only have these vivid dreams when there is someone close to the surface who wants out and has memories to share. It didn't help that I went to my son's page on Facebook and he had wrote lyrics to a death metal song as his status. And then my daughter-in-law just laughed about it (LOL) in her response. It hurts that people I love would choose this as a their religion knowing I was tortured by people who practiced the same thing thy find so cool. I know many people out there think Satanism is harmless and some don't even believe it exists but I am telling you it does.If I even began to tell you about some of what we went through you'd think I was on the Geraldo show or something. It seems unbelievable but unless you have lived it please don't assume that it is a fabrication of a bunch of people who are seeking attention, One thing that almost all people with DID have in common is we all have SRA in our backgrounds. No therapist put this in my mind. I am scared right now at to what is going to emerge in my mind. I know it's coming because it's a sense I have and know very well. The memories are so scary that I have left my mind for days and let others take over because I feel the need to seek safety within myself. I need prayers from nay readers who are spiritual. It is the calm before the storm.


  1. What you say is all too true. I know far too much. Debra shared her experience with me and every survivor I know corroborates. Each experience is unique and individualized, but they all share a betrayal of trust and powerlessness the victim.
    I'm sure you will learn valuable information and fill in more of your blank areas.

  2. I'm sorry that you have to go through this. And I'm glad that you have a place where you can share your experiences and thoughts. I think that this can help you in your healing process and get the word out to people about DID.