Wednesday, May 8, 2013

Soooo, it's sink or swim?

I figured out in therapy why I hate water on my face and the sound of splashing. I was thrown into the water many times by the father and told "sink or swim." I would panic and my arms would start splashing all over the water and swallowing lake water.  He thought it was funny but I thought for sure I would drown. My T told me that so many of her DID clients have a fear of water on the face. I find it interesting that so many of us have so much in common.

On another note, we had a great time at Disney World last week! Everyone got their time out and had their own experiences. Ginger and I have gotten along so much better and she limited her drinking while there and I appreciated that. My T said she is starting to respect me more because I'm not criticizing her or nagging her about so much. She doesn't rebel when she feels appreciated and her desire to drink a lot goes down :)

On Monday I met Holly for the first time. I was the last to meet her and I am glad she finally felt she could trust me. I felt a tug on my leg and looked down and there she was. She is very sweet but cautious. She is starting to call Bob "Mister Daddy Bob" instead of just Mister and I hope soon she will shorten it to "Daddy Bob." It just takes time for them to trust adults and the world in general. So much of her trust was broken and twisted that it's totally understandable to me why she is the way she is. Why they all are the way they are. They would be going along in life and slam TRAUMA then go along again and slam TRAUMA continually. It's a wonder why they are so weary of people they don't know. It's weird but I tend to trust quickly but they are slower. Thank goodness I have others inside to reel me back in when I start to trust the wrong people. It wasn't always that way. We've all worked very hard on being a healthy system.


  1. You have so many positive things to relate! It's great to see how well you understand what's gone on and how to cope with your new experiences.

  2. Thank you. I do believe that good comes from bad, always!

  3. I hate water on my face too, I've always wondered where that came from.

  4. It seems to be real common in abuse survivors.