Friday, February 1, 2013

Shame


Noun
A painful feeling of humiliation or distress caused by the consciousness of wrong or foolish behavior.
Verb
(of a person, action, or situation) Make (someone) feel ashamed: "I shamed him into giving some away".
Synonyms
noun.  disgrace - dishonour - dishonor - ignominy - opprobrium
verb.  disgrace - abash - dishonour - dishonor
The worst thing anyone can say to me is "I'm so ashamed of you." This was said to me so much growing up that I still carry the feelings of guilt and shame of those words today. Growing up as a child of abuse those feelings of shame were instilled so deep into our mind and soul that it is a hard belief to give up. I was made to believe that anything bad that happened to me was my own fault and was made to feel like I was the worst person alive. While being sexually abused I was continually told that if I ever told I would shame the family and would break everyone apart and would end up in a foster home or worse. Shame silences a victim. It's an abusers powerful tool because nobody likes to feel humiliated or like a disgrace to society. As an adult SURVIVOR I will no longer allow myself to be shamed by my past perpetrators. They are the ones who should be ashamed. They deserve no honor in this society. They may have shamed me during the process of abuse and sometime after but no more! For those of you who have gone through abuse and the shame that follows please know that the abuse was not your fault! We were children and had no say. Now we do and can choose to hold that shame or throw it back in their face where it belongs.

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