Sunday, January 20, 2013

Upcoming and recent changes

The Therapist my Psychiatrist recommended I go see called me last week and I will be seeing her on Tuesday for the first time. My daughter is going to go with me for support as I am really nervous. People often ask me why I would be nervous when I have been in therapy for pretty much all my life. It is the starting over, gaining trust and feeling comfortable with a new person that is the problem. Not only do I have to trust the Therapist but 24 other people inside need to trust her! The other issue that I deal with is having to talk about this crap again and again. I get low and feel as if I will never get better and overcome the past. I am 45 years old and childhood problems still affect me as if they just happened. My Psychiatrist told me I can change the way my brain thinks with intense cognitive behavior therapy and (by not choosing integration) having a peaceful co-existence with the alters. Therefore, I can eventually come off a majority of my medications  That is the ultimate goal! I never had a Psych Doc tell me that. It is encouraging, for sure.

The other recent change I made was joining an SRA/MC group online. It has been a real blessing to me! To see that I am not alone in what I experienced is validating. It is the one common type of abuse most DID people have that is shared in a familiar sense. I can finally talk, without fear, to people who understand, believe and desire the same help I do. I no longer care what the "world" thinks of me, my disorder or believing that SRA/MC does not exist. I am focusing on what I need to do to heal, I know what happened, I know what is true. That is what matters. Skeptics can take a hike.

1 comment:

  1. Hooray for you!
    Most people are horrified to imagine that what you talk about could be true. People refused to believe the physical abuse I talked about and that was simply being spanked with a belt.
    It will be so nice to get off the meds and think clearly - you and everyone else!
    :) >:D<