Thursday, November 8, 2012

Rules in the inner house

As in any house there needs to be rules established so that the family members can live together peacefully. Being a multiple it is very important that you set ground rules for everyone inside. If you do not do this you can expect chaos and misery.
You, being the host personality need to find time to sit down and discuss with your system what it is that you would like from them and vice versa. You have no business complaining about someone in your system misbehaving if you don't have any rules!
These are the rules of my inner house: 
·  No causing harm to oneself or others in the system. 
·  No underage drinking. 
·  Host requests you ask permission to have your "out-time". 
·  No sexually inappropriate behavior with men other than hosts husband. 
·  No driving of cars by little ones! 
·  No keeping secrets anymore from anyone in the system. 
·  Be supportive of one another, especially during therapy when things can get scary. 
·  Take responsibility for all actions! 
·  No ridiculing, criticizing or picking on any one in the house. 
·  Little ones must wake up hosts husband at night if they are hungry. Do not get into stuff.
·  Everyone must treat hosts outside family with respect and kindness.

These are the rules that help keep things running smoothly for us in our life. I encourage you, if you haven't already, to develop your own rules. Ask your therapist to help you if you are having a hard time.


  1. we have rules too. we have a friend that is a peopled person like us. we get mad when she uses the excuse that someone else did it, cuz we always take responsibility for everyone in us. we went to lots of therapy to be able to do this. she did lots of therapy too. but not as much as us. she needs more therapy. she is our best friend and she needs to get better cuz she just can't keep using that excuse no more. us