These are a few of my memories. I am a 12 year old boy and my life is a lot better now than it used to be a long time ago. I feel it is important to share memories and talk about them as they help others and ourselves to heal. So here goes:
One bad memory I have is my friend Melissa's death. I heard some highschooler's on the bus talking about smelling gasoline and how it can make you feel drunk. So I told her sister Kathy and her about it and we all did it. It was Easter weekend. Well Melissa did too much and she died. I feel like it was my fault because it was my idea. Her parents blamed me and nobody ever comforted me or talked to me about it. All my Dad said was that was what I got was for being so stupid. I feel so sad about it. I think about her every Easter.That was when we had our first panic attack, too. Instead of getting help we ran away. We were more concerned with getting into trouble. We were a fraidy cat! See.
Another bad memory we got is from Brett.Our Dad used to have our German Shepherd have sex with us. He would smear peanut butter all over our privates and get the dog all excited and then slap our back and get the dog to jump up on our back and the dog would hump us. It would hurt and we can remeber the claws digging into our sides and the sound of the dog panting and whining. It makes us sick to our stomach. The dog started becoming mean to us. He would knock us down and try to hump us all the time. We know it wasn't Lobo's fault. He was taught to be that way. Our Dad was evil and still is and we hate him.
Our dad used to beat Wednesday for stupid things. One time he was doing dishes and our Dad said don't go anywhere and Wednesday said where would we go and Dad got very angry and grabbed us and beat us and said he would kill us if we ever talked like that again and our shirt was totally ripped down the side. Our dad sewed the shirt and said if we ever told anyone about what happened he would slit our throat if not worse. He was scary. We never knew wnhen he would go off on us. But one time Brett spit in his drink when he left the room and we laughed inside when he drank it! How gross! He deserved it! Well that is all I feel like sharing. I am feeling shaky and sick to my stomach now. Thanks for listening.