Wednesday, August 8, 2012

Internal Shifting

I had 2 days of internal shifting occur inside leaving me feel tired, off kilter and very discombobulated. What is internal shifting? It's a term I made up but I know others with DID know what I am talking about. It's when your system of alters decides to makes inside changes to their living environments. It isn't always a pleasant experience for everyone. It occurs because someone becomes unhappy with their role, their living space or other alters around them. In this instance it was Moshie who wanted to move in with the Shadow Club Boys rather than rooming with a girl, Ivy, whom he has always been best friends with. Now he wants to change and be around all the boys (Brett, Wednesday and Fraidy Cat/Micah) and do boy things. Ivy has become quite dependent on Moshie and he feels more like a babysitter to her than a friend as of late. Ivy is 11 and Moshie is 12 but their maturity levels are way different. Because of Moshie moving out of their room Ivy no longer wanted to stay in the same spot all alone. Celeste and Thomas have taken Ivy into their space. It all takes time and the "house" takes on new dynamics and appearance. While all of this took place I was in my room asleep because it is mentally exhausting for me to be out while they are doing this renovation of my mind. Candy was out by herself and she is 4-5 years of age. I feel guilty that she was the one that was chosen to be out rather than an adult alter. Apparently, the adults were all trying to help with all the transitioning taking place. As you can imagine, with me asleep and a 4 year old out not much was accomplished in my life.  Our husband had to bring food home as he wasn't about to cook after a long day of work and our daughter isn't much of a cook, either. Dishes were piled up when I came back today and the outside house in general needs to be cleaned. Thank goodness we see our therapist tomorrow so we can talk about all this plus our constant depression. The life of a multiple is not easy and it is a strain on those who love and care about us. I do know our husband is glad to see me back and out. I managed to get a few errands done, the dishes washed and made a wonderful dinner tonight. Taking it day by day.

The Inner House

1 comment:

  1. What a change!
    Glad to hear things have settled down some.