Thursday, May 10, 2012

Seraphim's Story



ANDREA TOLD ME IT IS CONSIDERED SHOUTING WHILE TYPING IN ALL CAPS. I AM NOT SHOUTING, BUT USING ALL CAPS TO KEEP FEELING STRONG.
THIS IS MOST DIFFICULT FOR ME. WHEN I FIRST CAME ABOUT I WAS ABUSIVE AND MY ROLE WAS TO KEEP EVERYONE TO KEEP QUIET ABOUT THE SECRETS OF THE OCCULT. IT HAS BEEN A CHALLENGE FOR ME TO SLOWLY ALLOW THE MEMORIES SURFACE SO THE BODY'S MIND CAN HEAL. I AM DISCOVERING A NEW ROLE FOR MYSELF.

ONE THING I HAVE LEARNED IS TO USE MY WINGS TO SHROUD LITTLE'S AND ACTUALLY PROTECT THEM!THIS HAS NOT BEEN EASY FOR ME AS I HAVE A HARD TIME EXPRESSING FEELINGS. THE BODY HAS BEEN IN DANGER A LOT LATELY SO I MUST PROTECT IT LEST WE ALL DIE. ANOTHER PURPOSE I'VE DISCOVERED FOR MY WINGS IS TO BLOCK THE DOORWAY WHEN I AM TALKING TO THE THERAPIST OR OTHER CLOSE PEOPLE ABOUT THE OCCULT. MY WINGS BLOCK THE SIGHT AND SOUNDS WHILE I AM PRESENT AND TALKING, SO YOU SEE, I AM STILL PROTECTING BUT IN A BETTER WAY. I AM LEARNING TO REALIZE THE LIES THAT WERE TOLD ME WHICH PISSES ME OFF. I FEEL ANGRY ABOUT THE FACT THAT I WAS LIED TO AND ACTUALLY BELIEVED IT. NOW I WILL TELL YOU ONE OF THE MEMORIES THAT I HOLD.

I STRONGLY SUGGEST THAT IF YOU ARE AN SRA SURVIVOR AND HAVE NOT PROCESSED YOUR MEMORIES IN THERAPY THAT YOU DO NOT CONTINUE ON UNTIL YOU FEEL SAFE ENOUGH TO READ IT.

A MEMORY

THERE WAS A BUS THAT CAME AROUND EVERY SUMMER TO TAKE US TO "BIBLE SCHOOL". IT ALL APPEARED INNOCENT ENOUGH, SINGING FUN SONGS ON THE BUS, MEMORIZING BIBLE VERSES TO GET CANDY. IT WAS ONLY A FACADE. WE FOUND OUT AT A PARTICULAR POINT. OUR BODY'S PARENTS LEFT US WITH A NEIGHBOR FOR 2 WEEKS WHOSE SON ALSO ATTENDED THIS CHURCH. THE DIFFERENCE CAME WHEN IT WAS NIGHT TIME. WE WERE LOADED IN THE CAR AND TAKEN BACK TO THE CHURCH. WHAT HAPPENED TO ALL THE HAPPINESS AND FUN? WHERE WAS THE PASTOR IN THE WHITE ROBES? NO, THERE WAS NOT ANY OF THIS. THE ATMOPSHERE WAS DARK AND CHANGED. THERE WERE CANDLES BURNING LIKE REGULAR CHURCH BUT THESE WERE BLACK AND THERE WAS A WHITE CHALKY CIRCLE DRAWN ON THE FLOOR IN THE BASEMENT WITH A STAR IN THE CENTER, WHICH WE LATER FOUND OUT TO BE A PENTAGRAM.
THE CHILDREN WERE TOLD TO GET NAKED AND TO REMAIN QUIET. THE MAN IN THE BLACK ROBE, FOLLOWED BY WOMEN IN RED ROBES, CAME IN HOLDING A BABY WHO LOOKED AS IF IT HAD A CLEFT PALATE, BASICALY DEFORMED. WE WERE ALL GIVEN LIME KOOL-AID TO DRINK ("YOU MUST DRINK IT QUICKLY", THEY SAID.) THINGS BECAME FUZZY AFTER THAT. THE BABY WAS PLACED IN THE CENTER OF THE CIRCLE AND ONE OF THE CHILDREN WAS CALLED "THE CHOSEN ONE" AND WAS TO GIVE LUCIFER THE ULTIMATE SACRIFICE AND WOULD BE BLESSED BY SACRIFICING THIS BABY. WHAT LOOKED LIKE A MEDIEVAL DAGGER WAS HANDED TO THE CHILD AND GIVEN INSTRUCTION TO DRIVE THE DAGGER INTO THE BABY'S HEART. THE CHILD WAS UNWILLING SO ONE OF THE WOMEN IN RED SAID A "PRAYER OF STRENGTH" TO HIM AND TOOK HIS HANDS AND PLUNGED IT INTO THE BABY'S HEART. THE SCREAMS OF THE OTHER CHILDREN WERE DEAFENING. "SILENCE", THEY SHOUTED AT US. A CUP WAS HELD UNDER THE DEAD BABY'S CHEST AS IT WAS HELD BY ITS FEET AND FILLED THE CUP. WE WERE THEN TOLD TO TAKE A SIP OF THE BLOOD AS IT WOULD CLEANSE OUR SOULS AS IT WAS THE COVENANT OF THE MASTER OF ALL THINGS DARK. WHEN OUR TURN CAME WE TRIED TO REFUSE AND WERE FORCED TO DRINK IT. THE METALLIC, COPPERY TASTE WILL NEVER LEAVE OUR SENSES. OUR CRIES WERE TOO MUCH FOR THE LEADERS AND WE WERE TAKEN TO A BOX AND PUT INTO IT.

THE SOUND OF DIRT WAS THROWN ON TO THE BOX AND WE WERE TOLD WE WOULD BE BURIED ALIVE IF WE DID NOT KEEP QUIET. I DEVELPOED MY WINGS AT THAT POINT AND VOWED I WOULD NEVER BE AFRAID AGAIN AND WOULD BE STRONGER THEN THEM. THE BOX WAS FILLED WITH THE SMELL OF MILDEW AND DIRT. LITTLE SHERRY, IMP, SECRET, ITGOESONITGOESONITGOESON AND OTHERS I CAN NOT MENTION AT THIS TIME. WE WERE IN THE BOX FOR A LONG TIME, HEARING THE CHANTING, AND SCREAMS OF OTHER CHILDREN WERE SO MUCH THAT WE WERE SURE WE WOULD DIE. WE DEFECATED IN THE BOX OUT OF FEAR. WHEN THEY FINALLY LET US OUT THEY WERE INFURIATED BY THE FACT THAT WE SOILED THE BOX. THEY GRABBED THE FECES IN THEIR HANDS AND SPREAD THEM AL OVER OUR BODY AND INTO OUR MOUTHS, TELLING US WE WERE REPULSIVE AND HAVE INSULTED THE SACRIFICIAL RITUAL. THEY THEN PUT WHAT WE BELIEVE WERE ONE OF THE EYES OF THE BABY IN OUR MOUTHS, COVERING OUR MOUTH SO WE COULD NOT SPIT IT OUT AND FORCED US TO SWALLOW IT, THEY TOLD US THAT THEY NOW HAD THEIR EYE ON FOREVER AND THAT IF WE EVER SPOKE ABOUT WHAT HAPPENED THEY WOULD KNOW. THAT IS WHY, WE BELIEVE, EYES ARE DISTURBING TO US TO THIS DAY. THE PARANOIA SETS IN TO THE POINT OF PANIC IF A STRANGER MAKES EYE CONTACT WITH US. THE LAST THING I REMEMBER IS BEING CARRIED TO THE CAR AND BEING BROUGHT INTO THE HOUSE OF THESE PEOPLE IN WHICH WE WERE STAYING WITH. THIS ORDEAL (BUT DIFFERENT TYPES OF CEREMONIES) HAPPENED EVERYNIGHT FOR THE 2 WEEKS THE PARENTS WERE AWAY. THERE ARE MANY MORE HORRENDOUS MEMORIES BUT I WILL NOT GO ON RIGHT NOW. THIS IS OVERWHELMING EVEN TO ME AS I AM NOT FEELING AS STRONG AND QUITE VULNERABLE NOW. PLEASE DO NOT BLAME OUR PARENTS. THE MOTHER HAS SAID MANY TIMES SHE IS SORRY AND SHE DID NOT KNOW. I BELIEVE HER AS THAT MOTHER WAS A VICTIM OF THE FATHER AND PROTECTED US THE BEST SHE COULD UNDER THE CIRCUMSTANCES. SHE DID NOT SEND US THERE WITH THE KNOWLEDGE THAT THIS STUFF WOULD HAVE HAPPENED. THANK YOU FOR ALLOWING ME TO PROGRESS IN MY HEALING BY SHARING THIS WITH YOU. PLEASE STAY SAFE

4 comments:

  1. ages 3, 6, 9 and 13..special time for "The Chosen One" We don't like that name, that expression. Little girl robe, bar feet, gold insignias on robe..it's so cold. Stone church with heavy velvet burgundy drapes pulled shut..only the light of the candles show, rings inside rings inside rings, different ages in the inner verses the outter or middle ring. At ages 6 and 13 it is what we have that is the sacrifice. first Innocents and then virginity. So many drawings have been drawn using our own blood as paint..ugh

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  2. I'm so sorry. I know a lot of people think this is BS and we are crazy but I understand what you are talking about and we need to get an awareness out to people! Stay strong friend!

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  3. Thanks for sharing, Seraphim. I understand the caps. :)

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