Wednesday, May 2, 2012
Lost in a crowd
I feel lonely. I'm surrounded by all these insiders yet I feel like the odd man out. They all have inner friendships and groups and I don't seem to know which one is the one I am most like. I have my husband and daughter around me and my granddaughter is now here but I feel like it's not enough. What is wrong with me? I want a best friend especially outside of myself. I have enough acquaintances but no one with whom I can share secrets with. I feel like I'm lost in a crowd and have no direction on where to go. It's pretty sad when you have alters that are best friends and, in reality, it's actually "you, the host" but you can't be friends with your own self (others inside) because you don't fit in. I know that probably doesn't make a whole lot of sense to singletons but I'm trying my best to explain how I feel. I need to get out of the house more and be around people and try to form friendships. I don't think it is healthy for me to sleep all the time and spend my life on this computer day in and day out. I did go to art therapy today but it's been so long since I've gone it's like people are now in new groups and I felt, once again, very alone. I need to figure things out soon. This life I'm living is the pits!