Wednesday, May 2, 2012

Lost in a crowd

I feel lonely. I'm surrounded by all these insiders yet I feel like the odd man out. They all have inner friendships and groups and I don't seem to know which one is the one I am most like.  I have my husband and daughter around me and my granddaughter is now here but I feel like it's not enough. What is wrong with me? I want a best friend especially outside of myself. I have enough acquaintances but no one with whom I can share secrets with. I feel like I'm lost in a crowd and have no direction on where to go. It's pretty sad when you have alters that are best friends and, in reality, it's actually "you, the host" but you can't be friends with your own self (others inside) because you don't fit in. I know that probably doesn't make a whole lot of sense to singletons but I'm trying my best to explain how I feel. I need to get out of the house more and be around people and try to form friendships. I don't think it is healthy for me to sleep all the time and spend my life on this computer day in and day out. I did go to art therapy today but it's been so long since I've gone it's like people are  now in new groups and I felt, once again, very alone. I need to figure things out soon. This life I'm living is the pits!


  1. You sound so human. I have struggled with that my whole life. I thought I made a good connection with my first wife - what a mistake. Life was wonderful with Debra. Now there is nobody. I'm trying hard to be patient.

    It's hard to find people that make that connection. Give it more time and know you'e not alone. You found people before and more will come from unexpected places.

    safe hugs >:D<

  2. sounds a bit like you are feeling the way you felt as a child which is a hard one, you are right to go out and do the things you enjoy with other people, maybe volunteer at something you enjoy, you prob already do that. I hope you find the outside friendship that you need.