Wednesday, April 4, 2012

My empowering moment

I had a very empowering moment in my life and nothing has compared to it since it happened. During our biological sperm donor's court trial for sodomy with a child we were there to testify if the prosecuting attorneys needed me to. I didn't get to and was feeling low about that but the attorneys then allowed me to sit in the rest of the trial. The jury had just found him GUILTY of all charges and were taking a recess to deliberate his punishment. As everyone was getting up to leave the court room the people in front of me stopped and started talking. The same thing happened on his side. We had no choice but to stare each other right in the face. He gave me his infamous "I shot a dog and feel good about it" look. Instead of turning away in fear like I did in the past I gave him his look right back at him. We had this stare down which seemed to have taken many minutes, which in reality was probably 10 seconds or so. So as I steeled myself against his glare (my stomach in knots, my knees shaking) he did something I didn't expect. He turned his head away from me and shook it in disbelief. I felt so strong and victorious at that very moment! At the same time I was scared shitless inside. By the time I got to the prosecutions office I broke down in tears. It may not seem like a big deal to most people but for an adult survivor of child abuse it was EVERYTHING to us. We were crying from the stress of the trial, the fear we had, the joy we felt when we won the stare down and a plethora of other reasons. It was a enlightening moment for me because I realized this person no longer controls me or can hurt me. It was an epiphany and changed who I am forever.

He was sentenced to 8 years in Ft. Leavenworth prison and lost all his rank and pay. We should honor those in the military and this man got what he deserved because no one honored him for what he did. He was no longer infallible and the rest of his life would never be the same. He only served 3 years and had no counseling during his stay. I realize that pedophilia has a 2% cure rate and the only sure way is death. Do I think he learned his lesson and is no longer molesting children? No, I do not. But, I do know that by me speaking out against him I saved many other children who might have fallen prey to him.

2 comments:

  1. Congratulations for your victory on so many levels.

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  2. Thanks so much for your support! <3

    ReplyDelete