Tuesday, April 10, 2012

Friends????

I feel a tad lonely lately. Sure, I have family around me and lots of insiders to talk to but I miss having a best friend. I had a best friend for over 22 years and then she found a different life than we had before and only talks to me occasionally. Is it wrong to feel resentment towards her a little bit? She said she would always be a part of my life and now is basically absent except if I contact her on Facebook. We used to be around each other so much and were like sisters. We only had one big fight and we made up right away. I was there when she gave birth to her son. We cried together, laughed together and we understood each other. We were always there for each other any time of the day. I feel so lonely without her in my life. She just has become this person that is so far out of reach for me. I don't understand who she really is anymore. I have plenty of friends but no best friends. I want to go out and do things with someone other than my husband or daughter. I want someone to laugh with and share secrets with. I'm not trying to sound like I am on a pity party. I genuinely feel sad about this. When a person has DID it is hard to get close to others because most people don't get it or want to try to even understand us. I am a complicated person but am a very loyal friend to anyone who gives me the chance. I hope someday I can have a friend to hang out with and have fun with them. I love my husband dearly but I need a woman in my life to talk to. Does this make sense?

2 comments:

  1. Of course!

    There is a different kind of intimacy we get with close friends. It takes time to gather a shared history. Talking or sharing pictures is one thing but being there is another.

    This is true no matter how complicated you are.

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  2. I have a friend like that. she has been my friend for about 17 years now...but I never had a friend like that before and I was sad. I had friends that I felt could become a "best Friend" and then as soon as someone else better came along, they left me flat. It took another multiple to understand me and be close with me. It helps that our systems our almost parallel..for every person in my system it seems there is one just like them in her system. I have an acquaintance that thinks she is my best friend, but she is a "wanna Be" multiple and I honestly do not know how anyone could want what happens to you in order to cause you to use this coping mechanism..but what I am trying to say here is that the acquaintance is a copy cat and the best friend already had her system in place many years before I met her. I feel horrible for the acquaintance, she has been diagnosed as Borderline 100's of times. She has burned all bridges with her friends and her own kids, so I swore I would never tell her I couldn't be her friend..wow, it's tough.
    but my best buddy and me just have fun, no matter what we are doing.
    I understand sherry..been there, my whole life until I met my buddy Sue. HUGGERS to you et all.
    Bren~

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