Friday, March 9, 2012

uncertainty

My 17 year old daughter asked me why I don't just choose integration instead of having all these sad and scared insiders. I explained to her that they are all healing and doing better every day and how I would miss them if they were to become 1. She said she thought it was kind of selfish that I didn't do it because I'm allowing them to suffer so I won't feel bad.
Do you think she is right? Maybe I am being selfish to do what I'm doing but I always thought that integration was kind of a slap in the face to them and they didn't want it. It really has me thinking and gives me anxiety. Our husband told us that he would miss everyone terribly if they went away. I think my daughter just may be concerned about us because she is going off to college in the fall and knows we will be alone a lot. I think she is wanting to protect us but I think if it is ever time to integrate we will know it and it will be the right time. We can’t force this on them. Or on myself. Any thoughts from anyone?

4 comments:

  1. Every personality needs to be healed, weather it is distinct or simply part of a confused group. You are coconscious, for the most part, and integration simply removes the division between your experiences. Would integration do anything other than present a counselor with one voice and face to deal with the same issues?

    I don't understand how making a stew of your personalities with a broth of melded experiences would make anything less confusing for you or anyone else. Can you imagine a counselor asking you a question trying to voice seeing life from the perspective of every one of your personalities simultaneously?

    Don' you think integration would just make you sad and scared with no idea of why?

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  2. It would definitely make me sad and scared. I don't remember ever being only 1 person before :(

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  3. Integration is a process, u can't just blink like I dream of
    Genie and wala, they are gone...
    It is a natural wall between your subconscious and concious...when that wall gets thinner and becomes a line, then you will know it is time...I would rather call it collaborating together. not losing someone, as it is still a part of you that unites with you....or at least that has been my experience.

    Karen & CO

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  4. Thanks for your input. I appreciate it very much :)

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