Saturday, February 18, 2012

The day I went to jail

Today I came across my arrest record from 2004. Part of me didn't care but the other parts of me got angry. I read the report and am astounded that I got arrested at all. It states clearly that, while yes, I pulled my son's hair to get him out of his chair, he ran me from room to room with my wrists bent backwards calling me a "crazy psycho bitch."  I threw a broom at him to protect myself and it happened to leave a small mark. A 4th class demeanor of child abuse?! Please. I was afraid for myself. My son was bigger than me, not taking his medications for 3 days (as he is bipolar) and was freaking out. I grabbed the closest thing to me and threw it at him and I get 14 hours in isolation in jail? They wouldn't listen to me there. They mocked my DID and wouldn't give me my medications. 13 hours later a nurse took pity on me and against the rules dispensed me my meds. I cried all 14 hours I was in jail. My mugshot picture says it all. I was horrified, disbelieving, and not understanding why I was there to begin with. My littles came out and were claustrophobic in our settings, didn't want to use the toilet in front of people who may walk by our cell and see it, and we're not understanding what was going on. We tried to talk to the police that were on staff and they made fun of us. We should have pressed charges later on because they never read us our rights, we were lied to several times, denied our meds and forced into isolation. When we were put into the community cell we almost got our ass kicked for crying too much. Some other girls (criminals) protected us because they felt bad for us.
If we would have put our son in the CARE program I would probably have not been arrested and he would of been. But because we were loving parents and didn't want him thrown into the system I was punished. I have a hard time with police now. After having to go through a naked inspection and allowing the police lady to look up in my privates with a flashlight to see if I had drugs really traumatized me all over again. Whenever there is a police car behind me while I am driving I freak out. I'm so so scared of getting into trouble! It's no joke. I get in full blown panic.
Just so you know, my case was dropped and my son was put into full treatment as well as resuming his meds. I would have liked an apology, still do, about that day. My daughter says she will never forget that day when I came home. My eyes were  so swollen from crying and my face was all red. I will ever forget that day either.

6 comments:

  1. You didn't know this until now, but I have a very hard time not disliking your son because of what he put you and your insiders through over the years, bipolar or not. I'm not trying to upset any of you, I'm just trying to be honest.

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  2. I understand Millie. I have felt that way too but I can't help loving him despite all of that because he is my son. I appreciate your honesty and I am not upset by it.

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  3. We have been through a lot.
    We sometimes grow stronger from things that happen to us.
    Other times it changes us for life an not in good ways.
    For all my friends.
    We love you an send safe hugs to everyone that needs or wants them.

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  4. You're absolutely right about it changing us. We love ya too and send y'all a safe hug

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