Tuesday, November 1, 2011

My name is Thomas


I'll be the first to admit it. I was a bastard for the longest time. I didn't give a shit about nobody and could care less what they thought of me. I was brought into the house after the father and mother were divorced. I took the fathers place. I was very good at it. I would tell Sherry she was ugly, stupid, worthless, and more. When I would get angry I would hit her. Sometimes leaving bruises. I would stand her in front of the mirror and make her watch as I hit her and pulled her hair. I was also abusive to the littles in the house. I just can't stand to hear a kid cry! It enrages me. I worked with a therapist on my anger and it's gotten better. I still have some days where I slip but I am trying to be a better person. I try to avoid alcohol because that makes it harder for me to stay in control. So far its going fairly well. I have come to actually love the middles and Sherry's kids. Even though CJ had me thrown in jail for throwing a broom at him out of self defense. It left a small mark on his side and I got arrested and spent 14 hours in jail. Talk about traumatic for the system. Anyhow, I digress. I have gotten the kids inside to have confidence in me and in their selves. I gave up smoking 6 years ago and have been very successful with that! I am extremely proud of Ginger and the fact that she has not self harmed and has matured so much the past few  years. I know this is supposed to be about me but damn, I am just so pleased with everything lately. The therapist has made me the historian of the house and I am to keep written facts of everything that takes place in a notebook so we know what is happening all the time. I feel honored to have the position. I've come a long way. From abuser to protector and I guess nurturer, too. Wow. Never thought I'd be saying that about myself. Strange, huh?

4 comments:

  1. Congratulations, Thomas! I know that takes a lot of time, work and character. Thank you so much for taking up all the challenges you faced along the way.
    Does Sherry have a good word processer there for you to work on? Of course, I don't know if you prefer writing by hand. Sounds like a convenient way to keep track of records. My wife, Debra, had a record keeper who kept track of everything that happened to her and each of her 100 personalities. What a mind!
    Best wishes to you and your work.

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  2. I type things out but I prefer to write things down by hand. Seems safer than putting it on to a computer where anyone could access it.
    Sorry for your loss of Debra.

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