Tuesday, November 8, 2011

I'm so lonely

How can I feel so lonely yet have 24 insiders and a family outside to keep me company? I don't know why I feel so sad and so alone so much of the time. I go to RCA to be around people and it helps some but it all feels artificial and fake at times. So often I want to escape the noise and chaos which is my mind but then if things become to quiet I freak out. Tonight I feel very alone. My insiders are relatively quiet and there is no one else around. I feel very isolated. Why is it that I can be in a room of many people and feel that I'm the only one there? It's an unsettling feeling and a heart wrenching experience to go through. Does anyone else out there feel the way I do?
I have no real friends here. They are only acquaintances and people I only want to see  on an occasional basis. I have no one but my daughter and husband to share things with but I often want to release them from my burdens by talking to someone outside our family. What is wrong with me that people don't want to be close to me?


  1. Is it possible that someone inside is afraid of outside people and is trying to keep themselves safe by keeping outside people away? Or, could someone inside be trying to keep you safe by keeping outside people away? Please understand that these are just my own thoughts and are in no way meant to be critical of you or those in the inner house.

  2. You know more than enough about loneliness.


    There is nothing wrong with you, despite what those old messages in your mind tell you. You have so many of those old messages tearing you down! I'm here if you want an ear or shoulder. I'e still got the same number. :)

  3. Thank you both very much. Millie, I think it is becoming empty nest syndrome for me. Not sure.