Sunday, October 16, 2011

My name is Ivy

My name is Ivy and I am 11 years old. I was created during movies that were made with little kids my age. I never liked doing them and was embarrassed when men saw my body naked. But I would just imagine I was a beautiful princess and pretend I was wearing a long gown that covered my body so no one could see me. I was created along with another insider named Moshie. He's got his own page to talk but he is my best friend inside. Sometimes he would hold my hand during the movies so I wouldn't be afraid. They would yell at us a lot and they would be drinking lots of beer and laughing at us. Sometimes they took regular pictures of us. My dad was there, too. He was a real mean person. The most meanest person I ever known in my life. He didn't love us and didn't want us to be around except for sex stuff. I chose the name Ivy because Ivy can grow and get away from things. That is what I wished for. To grow up and get away. I created my own insider named Celeste. She is my dream guide. She helps me whenever I have bad dreams by coming in and taking my hand and helping me feel strong and letting me know it is just a dream. She is a fairy and is very beautiful! She is ageless and very powerful. She has met some of the others in the house and they all get so tired after being around her because she is so strong. I decided to share her because I think she can help others heal like she helps me. I never want to do those things I did in the past ever again. I want the memories to stop. The therapist says the memories will always be there but they will get easier to deal with in time. I hope she is right.

Typed with the help of Celeste


  1. Thanks for sharing, Ivy. This is very well written. You have a wonderful imagination! I like the way you figured out how to feel better.
    safe hugs

  2. Hi Ivy
    It's nice to meet you. My name is Victoria and I am an insider in a system with many little ones like you.
    I am glad you shared. I am very sorry you were hurt by big people who were supposed to love and protect you. I am glad you were not alone and Celeste was there with you. You never ever have to do what you were made to do again. I can imagine how hard and painful memories are. I have similar ones too. I am glad you still have Celeste and others in your system. I hope now you can have fun and find things you enjoy doing and do them lots lots lots especially when you feel sad.
    Safe hugs and care

  3. thank you very much.I try to have lots of fun when I can.

  4. Hi Ivy, it's nice to meet you. My name's Millie and I am a singleton but I have lots of friends who are multiple like you.....Big Sherry and Victoria are two of them. I think you were a very brave girl to share what happened to you and how you chose your name. I'm glad Celeste is there for you also. Safe hugs