Tuesday, October 25, 2011

Good Grief?

I am still going through the stages of grief. I thought I was done grieving but apparently I am not. I lost 5 very important people to me since 2004. In order, My grandma, my Mom, My Poppy, my Aunt and my Step-Dad. I feel like I'm lost and floundering with them out of my life. Who can I really call to share good news with other than friends? I want to call my lost loved ones on a daily basis and I can't. I've been to grieving classes, had a grief counselor and yet it is still there. The death of my Step-dad last September put me over the edge. I was fortunate to have a good 6 weeks with him before he passed away and we had a lot of great talks. I miss everyone so bad and all my littles inside can't seem to comprehend this whole death thing at all. They keep expecting our loved ones to show up for holidays and for vacations. Is it ever going to get better? They say time heals all wounds but does it really? I miss everyone so terribly and it hurts..............

We also grieve for our childhood. Our stolen childhood. We can't get over it. We can't.


  1. That's a big part of my frustration with life. It's not fair. It goes on with or without us. Are people with a positive attitude in that much denial of reality? All I have been able to do in response is to offer my ears and heart to those who want to share something. It's not much, but it helps ease things a little. You and I know know way too much and fortunately can reach out to each other. safe hugs

  2. I agree with you. How can we be positive when so much has been taken from us? I'm so thankful for you!

  3. Hey. We are a larger system - we are unofishaly diagnosed but we know that we are multipal cus wel we know each other. Im not the core - in fact the core hasnt been around in qwite a while but I dont know if shes stil there or not. But she found out about most of us about 6 months bak. We know how it is tho. Our core lost her first brother who was also her best frend when she was 6 years old. Her grampa also passed when she was real yung too. An over the years weve lost so many frends - not to them passing away but cus we just cant manage to keep frends - gues we just cant find the rite frends. But resently within the past year another one of her brothers passed away an it was realy hard on her. Then last year she spent about 4 full days in the h*spital cus she had an ectopic pregnansy an her falopean tube rupshured. Even more resently both of our cores gramas were in the h*spital - no one expects them to make it that much longer cus one has realy bad altimers an the other one is just in realy bad shape. An I dont think our core ever got over losing her first brother when she was 6. So we can relate. -safe hugs if ok- I dont beleve that time heals all wundes ether.

  4. Thanks for the hugs. I send some back your way! I hope things get better for you. I'd love to be friends :)