Tuesday, June 14, 2011

Midlife Crisis?

So, my T thinks that I am going through a woman's midlife crisis. HMMMM......maybe so. I mean I have been evaluating myself like mad the past 4 weeks and the results of that have been quite negative. I know I have given birth to 3 pretty awesome kids and have stayed married 24 years and plan on staying married forever. That is an accomplishment right? I have DID, some think that it is wonderful that I have this "gift" of creativity. I say, not a gift, depending on the day! What have I accomplished? What will I be remembered for after I'm gone? It saddens me to start thinking about it as I don't come up with many answers to those questions. I want to leave a legacy off some sort, especially to my children. My T is suggesting I write another book but this one about my life and so forth. I'm contemplating it but inside I feel scared. What if I piss some people off or hurt others by what I write? It helps that my Mom is no longer here because I would not want her to feel bad. I do feel like I have a story to tell. We'll see what happens when I come back from Hawaii. Now there is a purpose and validation for living! I get to play Grandma for 10 days to my beautiful granddaughter! I think it will help clear my head. I certainly don't want to heed my T's advice about hooking up with a 22 year old man and buying a Ferrari! She was advising in jest, of course. I will think long and hard on this. And definitely have a round table meeting with all the insiders to see what everyone's feelings are about this whole writing a book thing. Til later...,.TTFN

No comments:

Post a Comment