Friday, April 15, 2011

Don't judge a book by its cover

Why is it that some people think they can look at you and just assume certain things about you? Why don't people get to know you before passing judgement? People can find out that I have DID from someone else and then when they meet me they assume I'm going to be this stark raving mad lunatic ready to switch into my murdering alter! Did you know that almost all people with DID have very high intelligence and are very functional, so much so that their closest friends and neighbors have no clue that there is a fracture of selves going on. The sad thing is that once the DID is revealed the opinions of those who know the person afflicted often times changes. Those who claim they are your friend or love you or even understand you will suddenly become distant, distrustful and may leave you all together. What doesn't make sense to us is what do they think has changed from the point they knew nothing to the point they know everything except the knowledge of us having DID.....a diagnosis we begrudgingly accept and a disorder (hate that word) that saved a life by intelligence and creative survival skills. We feel it is unfair for one to judge another based on a diagnosis they most likely know nothing about OR have a skewed opinion because of the way Hollywood portrays DID. We aren't the Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde as most would presume we are. We are truly separate identities who serve some purpose and some not so much anymore but are around by our choice. Please don't be so judgmental on us without knowing who we are. Take the time to get to know us....ALL of us! If you really say you're our friend and love and care about us then take the time to learn about DID so you can be there to support us. Don't leave us alone out of fear of the unknown. We want to talk about it with you and help you understand. We need all the support and friendships we can get because we were denied so much of that growing up. I can guarantee you this much: relationships with a dissociative person is not at all scary or boring.  If you are not willing to deal with certain aspects of our DID or can't be counted on to be there for us in times of need just tell us in advance. Don't wait until we are in crisis to decide to tell us you can't help.

As the name of my blog states. again, please don't judge anyone until you get to know them! Being friends with someone who has DID can actually be very rewarding and interesting. We have a lot to offer in ways of advice, experience and humor. Thanks for hearing me out.

1 comment:

  1. You remind me of the most amazing quality Debra had. After everything that happened to her, she was the most compassionate person I ever knew. She even made a point of telling her father that she forgave him for the abuse he subjected her to.