I'm just sitting here thinking about something my Therapist said the other day. When I was telling her how wonderful my husband is and how blessed I feel because he has stuck by me through so much crap and because of my DID. She told me that the odds were on my side because most people with DID are not able to stay married because their spouses choose or cannot deal with all that it entails. I remember calling my husband from the psychiatric hospital and telling him I think he should file for divorce. He asked why I would say that and I told him of my diagnosis. He said "I knew it. And no, I will not leave you." I was baffled because I was feeling quite "crazy" learning I was a multiple even though deep down I knew it did make sense after so many years of questioning what was going on in my head. I am truly blessed to have a man in my life who is so strong, loving, forgiving, patient and understanding. I could keep on listing things!
He has gone on this roller coaster ride of my life and has held me close the whole ride through. He has gained the respect and trust of all of my alters and my littles call him Daddy Bob because he is the father figure they never had but always wanted. He plays with them, he reads to them, he comforts them and more. There have boundaries set for everyone inside regarding my husband. What is appropriate behavior with him, what things to share with him and being his friend. Some may find it odd that a grown man can have a relationship with a woman with children inside, males and female alters of all ages and even magical fairies all in her mind. My insiders are a family to him. This is another reason we do not choose integration. All our dating and married life it has been like it is now and if ain't broke don't try to fix it. He would miss everyone so much and has said so on many occasions.
God has given me a true soul mate and forgive me if I sound as if I'm bragging. I guess I might be a little but I'm just so proud of him and would be so lost without my best friend. I want the world to know I love him and for those of you with DID who think a relationship is not possible, please do not lose hope. It is a lot of hard work, but it can be done and be a happy relationship. I think my biggest change for the better was dating a man like my husband, He was the opposite of every man I had ever dated. By breaking out of my comfort zone in that area I ended up happy in the end. But, let me tell you, it was not pretty the first year or two of our relationship. I wasn't comfortable with a man being so kind to me that I would intentionally start fights and drama because I lived in chaos all my life and that was where I felt at ease. That too had to change, and it took time but it happened and I learned a lot from those early days. Life is good now and I wish all of you the very best. I wish I could clone my husband a 100 times over to hand out to women who need a good supporter, friend, lover and caregiver. I love you, Bob with all my heart!